Nothing beats being spontaneous and carefree and sometimes even careless; the feel of being raw and unedited. Thus, this entry.

The past week has been a bad week for me. Daming bad news.

First, my dad-side lola passed away because of her old age and illness. Honestly, hindi naman kami sobrang close. Hindi naman ako Lola's girl. At sa totoo lang, hindi naman ako malungkot. Kung tutuusin, mas mabuti na nga kse at least she can rid herself from suffering. Anyway she's lived her life long enough. Ungreatful grand daughter ba ko?

Second, my mom was rushed to the hospital because of gas-tro-en-ti-ry-tis (correct me if my spelling is wrong). Ilang beses pa ba siya kailangan maging physically weak? I really want to teach her how to feel more positively about many things kse she's the type who worries so much - kahit hindi naman big deal na mga bagay. I want her to stop being like that. But how can I do that if she's gotten used to living that way for 62 years?

Buti na lang, Yesterday was such a happiness Sunday to start another week. I went to hear Mass at UP. Then I prayed and I cried at the adoration chapel after the Mass. I always cry whenever I pray inside that blessed room. Pakiramdam ko, doon ako pinakamalalim na nakakapagdasal. Dati nung bata ako, I used to wonder why my Mom would always cry whenever she'll pray to the blessed sacrament. Ngayon, hindi ko pa rin kayang i-explain yun. Pero alam kong mas naiintindihan ko na.  Paglabas ko ng chapel, I was planning to take a long walk around the campus. Just to release all the stress. To somehow clear my mind. To help me be able to think. And to feel myself. And to continue praying while walking. Baka may matisod akong kahit anong magandang bagay along the way. And then I bumped into AD. He was there for the same reasons that I had. Depressed din ang bebe ng K4. And so, Rory and AD walked together without any directions. Kahit saan kami ihakbang ng mga paa namin. Basta nasa loob lang kami ng UP, we know we would feel better. And so, Rory and AD helped each other feel so much better by walking and talking and walking and talking. And to make me feel even better, there was Jethro bumping into us in front of the Videotheque. So much inspiration talaga whenever I get a chance to talk with those CAMpips. Haaay, I miss them. It was not exactly the kind of friendship that I have with my blockmates. Pero they're among the people I'm truly thankful for. Dami kong nahuhugot na inspirasyon sa mga konting minutong kuwentuhan with them. At Jethro, maraming salamat na rin sa compliments. Buti na lang alam kong hindi tayo talo. Kaya naman sobrang head-over-heels sa'yo si Eya. At FYI lang din, hindi rin kami talo ni AD so what you asked was really funny. At sa pagpatuloy namin ni AD sa paglakad sa UP, maraming salamat din sa maraming stars na nasa kalangitan. At kung sinuman ang nagsponsor ng fireworks display na yun kagabi, soooobrang thank you for making us feel better.

Pero today, Monday... late na naman ako. At hindi  pa rin umuusad yung proyektong gusto ko na sanang matapos. At yun DVD na pinahanda sa 'kin ng boss ko for their presentation, ayaw mag-play. I should've listened to my instincts to have them bring a back-up VCD just in case. Pero I did not.

I just realized hindi pa rin ako naka-focus hanggang ngayon.